Devastated

I walked into work today and i saw a familiar face look up at me with it's beaming smile.

I recognised the bright eyes, those lashes, those cheeky dimples but my heart dropped as I saw the dun sun deeerrrrrrr................ RELAXED hair.

This girl was my hair idol, she had a beautiful tightly coiled afro that was moist, soft and smelt delicious. It was long enough to plait but not long enough to fit in a bobble and it made her whole face light up a treat.

"Look at my new hair" she said
" Look at it!" was all I could manage so early in the morning.

There have been conversations I have overheard and had to butt in on, leading up to this but I hoped her mum would just plait it.

There was the teacher laughing about it to mum in a complimentary and innocent way but at the same time highlighting it's unruley nature, it's difference and comedy appeal. I think
"something needs to be done" was one of the phrases that made me sad. The response from mum that it was a light hearted one too, she said it was too unmanageable and so hard to comb with the afro comb - but i don't know why she is picking it out with an afro comb anyway.

I offered to buy the mum a de-tangle a brush and a comb and write down product used on my neices hair ( THAT IS TEN TIMES THICKER) ! I said how much I loved her hair and I told her it would get better but it wasn't enough - I was just a random giving advice.

I lost my natural hair idol who was rocking her fro even fiercely at only 5 years old!

I tried not to be negative to the child but when she asked again about her hair later on I did have to tell her I was sad that her old hair had gone.

" But Miss don't you love my new hair?" she said stroking it. I remember how I would stroke my hair after a new relaxer when I was younger and admiring a straighter look (younger but not five)
" You would look lovely however your hair is" I said, "I just thought your old hair before that was just much more amazing" I think that is diplomatic enough and I didn't add that, there was much more of your old hair to love - because the new relaxed hair is thinner and broken already. When she told me about mum combing out the creamy stuff It got me bad, everytime I looked at her I wanted to hug her and scream why, I couldn't look at the mum that night either.

I will have to learn to plait and look after my child's hair- well maybe first I need to concur looking after my own but I hope there is no way on earth I relax my childs hair at five or ever.
Thank goodness for all the sites and blogs about looking after natural childrens hair out there now too like breads, beads and beyond and happygirlhair I will need these in my life.

P.S I have had to move on to a new hair idol infact two others have taken their place. Mixed raced, natural haired twins who are soo cute with thick lushious hair and amazing pig tails with twist outs and braid outs :-). My new idols look like the braids, beads and beyond girl though where as my old idol had a texture similar to mine ho hum.

P.P.S I am not hating, I'm just sad